July 16

Snyder, Texas

Not a bad start to our death run across Texas today. The wind didn't quite want to cooperate with us but it wasn't terrible and we made pretty good time. I rode with the two fastest guys on the team and almost died but it was well worth it. A lot of the groups got racked for time today but we were able to do every mile. I definitely overestimated myself today. The combination of little rest and overcoming my illness meant that I had little energy left over for riding. I was sore, tired, cramping, and ready to cry and quit- and that was during the first ten miles.

About twelve miles in I got a flat and was able to stretch out some and things were a bit better. I just had to focus really hard on everything except for how much I hurt. Bobby Blackstock, one of the aforementioned fastest guys on the team, is well known for his propensity to only stop every thirty miles or so while everyone else stops every ten. I was pretty worried about that but the other guys bailed me out pretty consistently by needing water and stuff so we never went too far. Today was the day that I thought my legs were just going to literally stop working. For awhile there, I was kind of hoping they would, just so it'd be over. This isn't the hottest it's been all trip, but I can't remember the sun ever being this oppressive. I took my helmet off at a crew stop and sweat that had been pooling literally splashed out. It was towards the end of the trip. We thought we'd been Red Flagged but we hadn't and so it didn't take long for us to get back on the bike and take off again. Days like this show me just how much I can go through. There are a few rides on this trip that I will distinctly remember, and this one isn't one of them. But I think that's what makes this so special- the fact that there are numerous days that would stick out in any other time in my life but are just normal days now. There are too many things on this trip that have made me proud of myself to count, and when all that starts to blur together, you know you've pushed yourself to your limit.

Lubbock, Texas

July 15
Lubbock, Texas

Today has been a good day, simply by virtue of being a day on the Journey of Hope. They say the worst day on the Journey is better than the best day anywhere else. It hits me at the most random times- I'm on the Journey of Hope. I'm actually doing it. I've biked halfway across the country. It's pretty crazy.
Last night was a good night. The steak dinner was fantastic, as were our hosts. Nancy, the woman who put our arrangements together, was present and it was her birthday and so we sang her Happy Birthday and then dropped to one knee and sang her "The Rose of Pi Kappa Phi". Afterwards, she stood up and talked to us. She looks frail, but she's a strong woman and it was wonderful to hear her speak. She told us to never forget what we were doing and who we're doing it for.There was a girl with Down's Syndrome named Karrie that we all had a great time talking to and Nancy said "Everywhere you go there will be another Karrie." I think it's important to realize the human element that's a part of every single stop we make and place we visit. It's easy to get caught up with the organizations and lose sight of the individuals that we see every day. That was a good reminder.
After the sponsors left, we got the chance to unwind on our own. The team's really come together and I've never laughed as much as I have during the last week or so. Also, I discovered that I'm one of the better ping pong players on the team. Again, it's the little things. While we were hanging out, Nick (our Project Manager) was setting up for our midsummer Ritual. I can't tell you what we did, but it was a great experience and I feel extremely refreshed.
The downside of Ritual is that we went to bed later than 2 and wake up was 6:30 in the morning. We were told that we didn't have to ride if we didn't feel up to it but I just can't imagine voluntarily racking myself when others are riding even though they hurt just as much as I do. So I rode. It was a tough ride and we had to deal with a crosswind and rough roads for most of the day but it ended 20 miles early because we secured an Arrival. When we do Arrivals, we all meet at a Stage-Up point, usually a couple of miles away from wherever we're heading and from there we head in in two long, snaking pacelines. Anyways, today we were supposed to just ride into lodging but all of a sudden we were informed that four different TV networks were sending out cameras to cover us, so we had to rack up twenty miles outside of Lubbock to get in on time. It was nice to finish early because it's such a break mentally to keep something left in the tank and not have to use it. Usually the last twenty miles of a day are a mental battle and not dealing with that was great.
Lunch and lodging has been provided by the Lubbock State-Supported Living Center, which is comparable to Lufkin's State School. Lunch was Pizza Hut (delicious!) and our lodging includes real beds tonight, which is great because I'm sure we're all worn out. I know I'm gonna sleep reeeaaal good tonight. Tomorrow marks the start of our Triple Crown. Wish me luck and say a prayer.

Welcome to Texas!

July 14
Muleshoe, Texas

What a great day to be on the Journey of Hope! It's always great to get back on the bike after a long layoff and I'd been sidelined for three days. Even better, my return coincided to our arrival to Texas, which means a lot of things. For starters, this means I'm home and getting to see friends and family soon. This also marks the halfway point for us as far as riding goes. Everyone says that things start going a lot quicker now and I can understand that: the rides will get shorter and less hilly as we get closer to DC, we spend less time in each state once we leave Texas, and we know ourselves, our bikes, and our teammates a lot better now. Because of all this, it feels like we're even farther than halfway.
We're not there yet, however. Yesterday marked the beginning of a pretty tough stretch for us. We go for about a week without a day off, one of our longest periods of the summer. There's a three day span within that we colloquially call the Triple Crown- 305 miles in three days that will bring us from Lubbock to Stephenville, which is our last stop before Fort Worth. So we'll be handling a large swath of Texas in one swoop. I guess that's the only way to do it without spending a month in the state.
At least today's ride wasn't too bad. In fact, it was a really nice one. We're pretty chronically late getting out of lodging- we try to give ourselves thirty minutes to get all our stuff outside and in the vans and another thirty minutes after that to eat, put on sunscreen, and air up our tires before we have our daily circle-up and send the first pacelines off. Dorms are especially tough for us because there's a lot less freedom of movement in the hallways so we can't ever seem to get out on time. Today, however, the first group left a mere forty-five minutes after wake-up.
The ride itself was easy for a variety of reasons. For one, I was riding with Todd Stacy and Jeff Lehman, a couple of my closest friends on the trip. Most of the mountains are behind us and today was a flat rid with a tailwind to start the day. The lane was wide so we eschewed the concept of speed and opted to ride two-wide in what we call a "conversation lane", which gives less opportunities for drafting but allows easier conversation. We rode for almost 25 miles like this, comparing the Initiation Weeks at our various schools and simply enjoying the ride. (I-Week is the week before members are officially initiated into the fraternity. It's usually a very solemn time for the chapter.)
About twenty-five miles in we were red-flagged and stopped at a place called Joe's Boot Store. It's a team tradition every year to stop at the store and do a little shopping during the ride. Every member got a free t-shirt and most people bought hats or belt buckles. I personally came away with a new cowboy hat that I'm sure will come in handy at some point in my time at TCU. A little kid kindly informed me that I was wearing my new possession backwards. It's moments like that when I wonder if everyone just laughs at our team every time we leave a town. I guess I'd laugh if a bunch of college kids came through Lufkin on bikes for some crazy cause.
After we left Clovis we biked about eight miles before we crossed the state line into Texas, a beautiful feeling to be sure. The bike "Welcome to Texas" sign was a couple miles farther and we stopped there and took pictures in our cycling jerseys and cowboy hats.
The last twenty or so miles were pretty rough because we had a crosswind that made riding harder and kept us from being able to ride efficiently or talk much. We finished without any major trouble though, which is a blessing, especially considering I ran over a piece of glass and thought I'd given myself a flat tire.
Lunch was at lodging, which was really convenient. We're staying in the youth room at a church and we were fed by a women's group called the Jennyslippers in the kitchen downstairs. Lunch was great, and the ladies were fun to spend time with and definitely made sure we got plenty of dessert. We spent our time talking about which stereotype each team member would fulfill in different generic movies, such as a war movie or The Sandlot. It's times like this that the other guys like to point out that I'm the youngest guy on the team. It's fine by me though- I'm proud to be doing Journey of Hope at a time in my life when most of the other riders were only thinking about it. And I'm also extremely fortunate to have such a great support system that's enabled me to do this.
After lunch we went to a local pool and gave a bike safety presentation to a bunch of kids. Even our Project Manager said it was weird. We hadn't even showered and so we were tired and the kids definitely didn't want their swimming interrupted by a bunch of guys in spandex talking about wearing helmets, so there wasn't a lot of chemistry there. One of the lifeguards did, however, give my friend JJ a phone number. It really is the small victories that get you through the day I suppose. Shower followed the safety presentation and we had some free time after that. They have a ping-pong table here, so we've gotten to play a lot. We're a bunch of college guys so we're always looking for new ways to compete and so this is a new outlet. This afternoon though, most of our time was dedicated to napping. On certain days, it just seems that the team unanimously decides to sleep the afternoon away. This was definitely one of those days. Tonight's dinner is supposed to be steak and potatoes, so I have to say I'm excited.

Portales, New Mexico

July 13,
Portales, New Mexico

I really wanted to ride today but I was just too exhausted. I don't feel sick anymore but my body is just worn out from fighting off the virus. In addition, there wasn't any air conditioning in the gym last night so it was really hot. I don't think anyone got their required six hours of sleep. I know I didn't. We had a 4:30 wake-up today and I finally drifted off to sleep around 1:00.
I survived wake-up and managed to keep up with the rest of the team as we all prepared to leave but once my van pulled out and started driving to our designated crew stop, I leaned back in my seat and was asleep within a minute. It probably took even less time than that.
I awoke a few hours later when the pacelines started to arrive. My van was 50 miles in so it was awhile before we started to get cyclists. The entire group was pretty close together so it didn't take too long for them all to come through. I talked with the riders and helped fill up their water bottles, but it's a lot different when you're not on the bike. It's probably for the best that I stayed off the bike today but we had another guy who was running a fever all day yesterday who fought through it and ended up riding and I really wish I could've done the same. I've gotten through every other challenge this summer. Perhaps I should've fought through this one as well. I'm not used to stepping back or easing up.
We had lunch in Portales, the usual turkey sandwich provided by the crew chief. It's a lot of fun to be around all the guys at meal times now- you can tell how close we're becoming as a team when you see us all hanging out in the rare moments we don't feel like we're under scrutiny. After lunch, the cyclists took a police escort to the courthouse, where a small crowd cheered us in. After arrival, our boys did a Kids on the Block performance and then rode to Eastern New Mexico State University, where I am as I type this. Dinner is at five and it feels good to have my appetite back. I plan on biking tomorrow; it'll be good to be back.

Roswell, New Mexico

July 11
Roswell, New Mexico

I've been really sick.
A couple of nights ago I started to feel hot and feverish and had a lot of trouble getting to sleep. I was alternately hot and cold all night. Even though it was really hot in the gym where we were staying, I woke up in the morning curled up in my sleeping back, shivering. I wanted to ride that day but Nick, our Project Manager, insisted that I go to the hospital. The team's in pretty bad shape: with my addition, we had a full van of guys for the trip.
After some tests, I was diagnosed with a virus called Entranitis. Basically, my body is working really hard to flush the virus out so it's really difficult for me to retain fluids, so dehydration is compounding the fact that I have a virus. I spent a few hours in the hospital getting an IV and resting. Afterwards, all the invalids were picked up and taken to a friendship visit. I wasn't doing too great and spent most of my time in the car. We're heading to lodging now. I fully intend on sleeping as soon as I get there.

July 12
I think the worst is over with. My body is still having trouble regulating my temperature and I'm really weak but I'm not wishing I were unconscious like I have been so I'm getting better. It's tough to stay awake for more than an hour at a time. I got back to lodging at about 5 yesterday and proceeded to sleep until about 11 this morning. All in all, I've probably been asleep for 24 of the last 30 hours. It's been a rough couple of days but I'm glad I was just able to focus on fighting through it.
I'm not sure if I'll ride tomorrow or not yet. A lot of people (mother included) want me to rest but isn't this the time and the place to really try and push through everything?

Sorry for the missing weeks

Hey guys, the blog skips a couple of weeks here because I don't have those written yet. I just got really busy for awhile and stopped having time to write. I've been taking notes so I'll go back and fill in these days later, but I do have everything from Roswell to today. I know I hit a low point in my last entry. Things get better though. It just took a little time to get in better shape, to get some real rest, and to heal up a bit. Also, getting out of Nevada helped a lot. Anyways, thanks to everyone for reading. I've felt your prayers all summer and I'm sure I'll continue to do so.

Indian Springs

June 24
Indian Springs, Nevada

I really hit rock bottom today.
Honestly, I'm just tired, worn out, and, for lack of a better word, done.
I pushed hard all day today and worked my very hardest and still things didn't go well and now I'm just done.
The day started off well enough. I picked up a tough paceline and worked hard all day and my paceline even finished first. It was a tough day, 75 miles. However, about a quarter of a mile away from lodging, my foot came unclipped from my pedal and I lost my balance. I crashed and landed on my left side, meaning I'm torn up on both legs. My bike was unridable but I was able to walk it in to lodging, a small victory.
Because I needed to get my bike checked out at a bike shop, I left early for Vegas early with a few other guys. The plan was to leave and drop off Jay Holly at the airport. Jay's been with us, helping us get off the ground because our original project manager wasn't able to join us this summer. As such, Nick Hoffmann, who was supposed to just be a crew member, has stepped up admirably to be our Project Manager, which means he's basically in charge of us for the time we're between San Francisco and Washington. Anyways, Jay has served as a PM before so he's been helping Nick out, but it's time for him to head home. We were supposed to drop him off at the airport in Las Vegas and then run to the bike shop before meeting up with the rest of the team for dinner. However, getting to the airport was a decidedly difficult experience. After we finally got Jay taken care of, we went to the bike shop. It was raining by the time we got there and the shop is backed up in making repairs so it wasn't a very useful trip. We did, however, all go and see the new Transformers movie, which was pretty cool. The Blackstock brothers, Charlie and Bobby, thought it was dumb but the rest of us were happy to be hanging out with civilization again.
All in all, its just been a long last couple of days. I've been tired, Nevada is boring, and falling sucks. I've hit the bottom and I'm just at a low ebb. I need a good night's sleep more than anything I think.